


kiss me thru the phone

by kaleidxscope



Category: SKAM (TV)
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Cute meet, Dorkiness, Even's POV, Fluff, I swear, M/M, Texting, even is really bad at joking, it's just fluff, phone companies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-15
Updated: 2018-01-15
Packaged: 2019-03-05 00:05:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,677
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13375917
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kaleidxscope/pseuds/kaleidxscope
Summary: MY TELENORYou’ve used about 90% of your 6GB data plan (cycle ends the 21st). Extra data for this cycle will be 105NOK per 1GB or add 4GB to your plan for 87NOK per month online.“Fuck, not again.”OR: Even always forget to turn on his Wi-Fi and he has the bad habit of replying his phone company's texts.





	kiss me thru the phone

**Author's Note:**

> I should be studying, I should. But this is my way of de-stressing and I really wanted to write a silly one shot, so this will have to do it!
> 
> I found [this](https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/341146927934734339/402158843691270164/IMG_20180114_185515.jpg) on twitter (but i can't find the tweet, shame on me) and I had to write it, okay?
> 
> This goes for everyone in the Skamfiction server, you guys are the best. Especially to [Wyo](http://archiveofourown.org/users/wyoheartsmusic) who betaed it and made my night with her comments (and is my love) and Shola, Noora, Marie and Mack who were so excited and helped me with a few details ♥
> 
> Enjoy!

He’s never felt like this, free, young, in love. He’s standing there, wet from head to toe and still dressed with his clothes and shoes. But he couldn’t care less, not when the moment is so right, so perfect. The moonlight reflecting itself in the pool, an angel in front of him. An angel! And they’re so close, yet it feels like the distance is immense. And he needs to be closer, always closer. So he does. He’s just about to kiss the angel, the love of his life. Finally, he leans in and…

_PING._

Fuck.

Even stops the film, right where Romeo’s lips are about to land on Juliet’s, the reason? A fucking text occupying half of the screen of his phone. And sure, he could forgive it, if it were from Mikael or the rest of the boys. Even if it was from his mamma. But no, the sole one responsible for this is nothing else than his fucking phone company. So fuck.

He clicks on the notification just so he can get rid of it and the text pops up in front of him. Above it, a string of another six, every single one with the same text.

**09–JUN**

 

> **MY TELENOR**
> 
> You’ve used about 90% of your 6GB data plan (cycle ends the 21st). Extra data for this cycle will be 105NOK per 1GB or add 4GB to your plan for 87NOK per month online.

“Fuck, not again.” He curses, closing his eyes and groaning out loud. Of course he forgot to turn on the Wi-Fi. Again. Like every single day of his existence. It’s not that hard, is it? Get home, click the fucking button on your phone. Easy.

Well, not for Even Bech Næsheim.

 

> **EVEN**
> 
> fuck u

He doesn’t even think before replying to the text and finally turning on the Wi-Fi. He’s been doing it for the last six months, since he got himself a new phone and changed his phone company. Anyway, it’s just a fucking program messing with his existence. So what’s the harm in letting go a bit of anger with it?

And just because sometimes it amuses him how that conversation is on his phone, he rereads the last warnings on it.

**11–APR**

 

> **MY TELENOR**
> 
> You’ve used about 90% of your 6GB data plan (cycle ends the 21st). Extra data for this cycle will be 105NOK per 1GB or add 4GB to your plan for 87NOK per month online.
> 
> **EVEN**
> 
> fuck you

**15–MAY**

 

> **MY TELENOR**
> 
> You’ve used about 90% of your 6GB data plan (cycle ends the 21st). Extra data for this cycle will be 105NOK per 1GB or add 4GB to your plan for 87NOK per month online.
> 
> **EVEN**
> 
> oh my god fuck off

**09–JUN**

 

> **MY TELENOR**
> 
> You’ve used about 90% of your 6GB data plan (cycle ends the 21st). Extra data for this cycle will be 105NOK per 1GB or add 4GB to your plan for 87NOK per month online.
> 
> **EVEN**
> 
> fuck u

The annoyance goes away a little with the small smile that appears on Even’s lips and, if he’s being honest, he’s a bit proud of himself for telling them to fuck off. Mikael and his speeches about The Devil (or as Even calls it: Capitalism) should be proud of him too, data shouldn’t be something you pay for!—instead, Mikael reminds him that he’s not actually complaining to anyone and that he looks a bit dumb replying to a robot.

Whatever.

He closes the messaging app and goes back to his film, fully intending to finish rerere—a hundred more re—watching it. But just before he presses play, his phone rings again with a new text.

A new text from fucking Telenor.

 

> **MY TELENOR**
> 
> oh my god i’m just trying to fucking do my job and every cycle you reply with your dumbass text, i don’t even know why, it’s not my fault you can’t afford unlimited data, bro.

He stares at the text for almost a full minute, reading it again and again and not actually believing what he’s reading. Surely he must be dreaming, did he fall asleep? Did he fail and disgrace Baz Luhrmann falling asleep during one of his films?

But he pinches his arm and closes the app just to reopen it again, he rubs his eyes and the text is still there.

Someone out there replied to his text. Someone out there has been reading his texts.

And certainly it wasn’t a robot.

He stares at the text a bit more and hovers with both of his thumbs over the keyboard, because surely he has to say something back, at least an apology for all the times he told the guy to fuck off. In the end, he types the first thing that comes to his mind and waits with the chat open for another reply.

 

> **EVEN**
> 
> what?! you can REPLY? oh my god I thought you were a computer! I’m so sorry.
> 
> Hope you have a nice day at work.
> 
> **MY TELENOR**
> 
> well, thank you.

After that, he’s so excited about what just happened, almost laughing, and he forgets about the movie. Instead, he texts the boys.

* * *

 

**10–JUN**

 

> **EVEN**
> 
> I have a question
> 
> Telenor guy? Are you there

Okay, so it’s barely eight in the morning and Even has nothing else to do, so of course his mind would go to that text again, and of course it would come up with a lot (a really big _lot_ ) of weird questions.

And honestly, he’s bored enough to give it a try and text the no-robot again. But maybe he’s not working today—Even is sure it’s a _he_ because he has never met a girl who had called him _bro_ before—or maybe he just doesn’t want to humor him.

Maybe he’s a forty years old man called Olav who doesn’t give a shit about Even’s doubts.

 _Olav – Olaf._ He giggles to himself after mentally repeating the name. Now he can stop imagining him as a snowman.

He leaves his phone on his desk after getting up from the bed and going to the kitchen for a glass of juice. Or that’s what he intended. Because as soon as his phone goes off, he’s turning around, fast enough to almost trip, and grabbing his phone again.

 

> **MY TELENOR**
> 
> sadly. you know you can access all your data plan info and account online, right? and why are you assuming i’m a guy?
> 
> **EVEN**
> 
> You called me bro. And I don’t want to ask about that, it’s a thing I’ve been wondering since the robot controlling my data consumption is not a robot.
> 
> Can you see what i’m using my data for?
> 
> **MY TELENOR**
> 
> I can only access the concept, either internet, SMS or calls. The same you can see in your bill.
> 
> **EVEN**
> 
> Well, then I guess I don’t have to worry about you spying on me. Thank you!
> 
> Was I correct about you being a guy?

If someone were to ask him, he would deny he’s getting this much fun out of a phone company. But the fact that a dude who is in charge of how much data he has consumed is answering his texts, and so fast, is amusing the hell out of him.

But then there’s just silence and after five minutes, he decides to lock his phone and go for that glass of juice. This time, carrying his phone with him.

Ten minutes later and a glass empty in the sink, Even decides to try his luck with a new text. And he does his best, because he’s sure, if he can make this person smile, then he’ll reply to Even’s every text. 

 

> **EVEN**
> 
> Telefriend? Are you there?
> 
> **MY TELENOR**
> 
> Should I be concerned about that? you know other tecs can see it, right? it’s not just my job
> 
> You were, and what the fuck is a telefriend?
> 
> Oh, never mind.
> 
> **EVEN**
> 
> You’re just the annoying not-so-robotic bill guy, copy that. don’t worry, nothing to worry about, just videos and cats
> 
> hahahaha, did you laugh? i hope you laughed
> 
> **MY TELENOR**
> 
> I did not
> 
> **EVEN**
> 
> :( so mean. i was trying to make your day at work better
> 
> **EVEN**
> 
> Telefriend? I have another question
> 
> Can you like know about me? my personal info and stuff
> 
> **MY TELENOR**
> 
> you know i have to work right? don’t you have anything else to do?
> 
> **EVEN**
> 
> stop destroying the illusion of more people who didn’t realize they didn’t have the wifi on
> 
> well, i could be doing something else, but i have less than 10% of my data plan and 12 days to go. And since you’re responsible of that i think you could humor me a bit.
> 
> so, can you?
> 
> **MY TELENOR**
> 
> I can’t, for me you’re just client 592-274-11 using the phone number 470 52 121. But i guess i could access your data, but i would need a good excuse for that
> 
> And how is it my fault that you just waste all your data in less than twenty days? what do you do to expend so much data so fast, anyway?
> 
> **EVEN**
> 
> Didn’t I already tell you? videos and cat stuff and if you had been able to know what I was watching yesterday, you would have thought twice before destroying my mood
> 
> Maybe i should show you
> 
> Btw name’s Even, you could take that little information you have and put it to good use ;)
> 
> **MY TELENOR**
> 
> … are you actually hitting on me
> 
> **EVEN**
> 
> I was… trying to be friendly? my dearest Telefriend? aren’t you having a good time with me? i am having a great time with you

When after fifteen minutes he hasn’t got any replies, Even starts to worry. Maybe he was a bit too much in his lastest texts. What if he offended him? What if he can get into trouble for this? Fuck, did he break a rule he doesn’t know?

He’s just about to type an apology when a new notification appears at the top of his screen, from a number he doesn’t have saved. He frowns, but clicks on it anyway before pressing send on his reply.

As soon as he reads the two texts, he’s smiling wide again.

 

> **UNKNOWN NUMBER**
> 
> Fuck it, i don’t want to get fired or in trouble if someone sees me using the computer to text you
> 
> So, what were you watching that was such a tragedy to cut off?
> 
> **EVEN**
> 
> oH MY GOD I KNEW IT! YOU LIKE ME. WE’RE GOING TO BE BEST FRIENDS, I’M TELLING YOU
> 
> I was watching a film from The Director, have you seen R+J?
> 
> Also what’s your name? It’s possible that Telefriend is actually a bit lame, i’m not sure yet
> 
> **TELEFRIEND**
> 
> …. i’m already regretting this
> 
> (and telefriend is fucking lame, Even)
> 
> (I’m Isak)
> 
> (who the fuck is the director?)
> 
> **EVEN**
> 
> why are you using so many parenthesis?
> 
> AND HOW CAN YOU NOT KNOW WHO THE DIRECTOR IS?
> 
> Isak, my friend, we need to educate you. Google Baz Luhrmann, have you seen any of his movies?
> 
> **ISAK**
> 
> idk, they were like p.s. or something, why are you asking me this? you’re the weirdest person texting here
> 
> Okay, I googled him and I’ve only seen The Great Gatsby but according to wikipedia it seems like he’s mostly into doing hipster love tragedy shit
> 
> **EVEN**
> 
> why are you so rude to me??? i’m not weird???
> 
> Hipster love tragedy
> 
> …………
> 
> okay i think we need to break up
> 
> and i think i’ll change my phone company
> 
> i’m sorry, i will always remember you and your annoying texts, my telelove
> 
> **ISAK**
> 
> ….. you’re not weird you say?
> 
> we haven’t even met in person, Even don’t be dramatic

He reads the texts but decides not to answer right away, not to show how much he’s enjoying this. _Isak_.

Fuck, how desperate is he to be enjoying a conversation with a total stranger on the very first day so much? But he can’t help it. Isak’s funny and grumpy and Even’s sure he must be cute.

Or maybe it’s just Even’s imagination doing what it fucking wants.

In the end, after just a few minutes, his effort of waiting gets him a reward in the form of two new texts from Isak. Just seeing them in the notifications makes him smile.

 

> **ISAK**
> 
> Even?
> 
> okaaaaaaaaaaaay, i take it back.
> 
> **EVEN**
> 
> YES! I WIN! <3
> 
> You’re almost forgiven, the only thing you need to do is watch R+J when you get home
> 
> How much longer are you stuck in there, anyway?
> 
> And just wait, I’ll charm the fuck out of you and you’ll be dying to meet me, just you wait, Isak.

* * *

 

**21–JUN**

 

> **EVEN**
> 
> Okay, how about you choose a film today? as your bday present?

“Oh my god, Even. Can you leave your phone just for a bit?”

Even looks up from his phone at the voice—Elias’s voice, his mind supplies to him—but he’s pretty out of it, like he’s just waking up from a nap. What has he done this time to deserve Elias calling him out?

Right. His phone. Isak.

He locks it, putting it in the pocket of his jeans again and slumping a bit in his seat, pouting. It’s not like they were having a super interesting conversation, anyway. And it’s not fair that they aren’t at least half as excited as Even is about his new friend.

“What are you doing on there all day, anyway?” Yousef asks, sipping from his coffee afterwards, at the same time as the rest of their friends groan. Some of them even mutter a _not again_.

So fuck it, he’s not going to say it.

Or maybe he is.

“I’m just – oh, come on, you know what I’m doing.” He abruptly stops talking when two guys enter the café and he has to correctly sit in his chair to let them pass. He mumbles a low apology and starts talking again while the boys pass behind him. “I’m just talking to my Telefriend.”

“Your what?”

Even is about to answer that question for the nth time when he realizes the voice doesn’t belong to any of his friends. In fact, all of them are looking right behind him.

He turns around, slowly, and is met by a pair of widened bright and beautiful green eyes, a bunch of blonde curls and the most perfect pair of lips, shaped in a cupid bow.

He’s not sure if it’s the beauty of the boy or the surrealism of the scene, but he can’t get himself to say a thing.

“Even?” The boy asks, blinking, smiling, almost laughing. And his friend beside him, with curly dark hair and thick eyebrows, groans. “Fuck, I’m –”

“Isak.” Even ends the sentence for him, smiling so wide his face is almost hurting and not even caring about his own friends groaning in unison. “Fuck, you’re even more beautiful than I thought.”

The blush on Isak’s face is worth all the groaning in the world.

* * *

 

He’s splayed on his new couch— _his_ and only _his_ until six o’clock anyway—watching Moulin Rouge for the fifth time and eating popcorn straight from the bag and he’s probably in heaven. Things have been so good lately he can’t remember how bad things were. Sure, he knows they will come, maybe, but he also knows that he doesn’t need to care about them so much anymore. Not when he has so many good things in his life, especially –

_PING._

He rolls his eyes. Of fucking course someone needs to interrupt this moment. He opens the notification after reading the name of his phone company at the top of it. And he already knows what it’s going to say. The same thing as it has in the last eight months.

He can’t help but smile.

**11–FEB**

 

> **MY TELENOR**
> 
> For fuck sake Even you have already spent half of your data, turn the damn wifi on in your phone
> 
> **EVEN**
> 
> i love you, babe <3
> 
> **MY TELENOR**
> 
> i love you too

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!  
> Kudos and commets make my day, so why don't you leave one?
> 
> You can find me in [theballxxnsquad](http://theballxxnsquad.tumblr.com) on Tumblr.


End file.
